I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
