Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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