Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
