just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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