he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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