So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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