for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
