I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i drank out of a bidet.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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