I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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