i was born a porn star she said
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
