you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize