Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
