There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
