i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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