"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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