Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sorry my hands just texted you
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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