I just cut my nipple shaving
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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