she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
