I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
