wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
