ya dads aren't the best wingmen
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
