im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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