its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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