remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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