he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
