Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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