His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
