that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Randomize
