plz talk dirty to me
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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