Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
