You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
