Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
