Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
