I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
