I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
