So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
