He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
