finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
birth control should be required to get into college
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
