alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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