direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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