Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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