yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
