he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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