Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
