i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
