Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
