My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
