He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
