She said her name was "party"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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