Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
