Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
