I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
accomplished twins. life is a go
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
