Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
