seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm like, not good at living.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
