I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
