Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We smell like vodka and hangover
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