i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
