Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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