we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I intend to get homeless drunk
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
