How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
