I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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