ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You made out with two different species that night
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
