Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
