No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
