i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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