Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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