I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because thatβs some real evil genius.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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