Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles