Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil

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(416): View more from Ontario

Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....

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(512): View more from Texas

I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'

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23 Annoying things Girls Do When They’re Trying To Be Cute
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right

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(203): View more from Connecticut

As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions

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(631): View more from New York

You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows

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(585): View more from New York

I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap

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