god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
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then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
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He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.